You Say Snarknado – I say STFU! Cheesy Tropes, Eye-Rolling Inspiring Actions, Words & Phrases
that you just wish would stop being used in novels.
Birth Control and Lady Grooming is my snark for today!
Let’s start with a snark of how the hell in this day and age we are still having dozens of books titled “The Billionaire’s Accidental Baby.” Condoms are sold everywhere. Men usually carry them in their wallets like a lottery ticket. Gotta be in it to win it! You might not need it, but having it on you guaranties you are ready for sex at any time. Broken condoms do happen, but you have to say at least they tried. Not using one at all is just foolish and you have better odds of winning (or is it losing?) that gamble.
Now using birth control pills and having statuary-worthy grooming for your private area when you are in a relationship, or if you are just on the prowl, are understandable. What makes me yell “COME ON!” is when our heroine is a virgin or she hasn’t been in a sexual relationship for a number of years and she declares “It’s okay. I’m on birth control.” SAY WHAT?
This is always followed by a ridiculous explanation which includes controlling irregular periods, heavy flows or bad cramps. Should we discuss the health risks involved with birth control pills? Migraines, high blood pressure, weight gain, blood clots... If you are taking birth control pills for a real health concern or say maybe to prevent pregnancy, ok go ahead and weigh the risks and take your pill. If your risking deadly blood clots because you get crampy during your period, REALLY?? Just suck it up.
And as far as the virgins who are meticulously groomed down south, all I can do is give you another “REALLY?” That seems to be a lot of upkeep for an area you are not showing to anyone else. It’s like waxing your car that never leaves the garage.