In Kresley Cole’s the Immortals After Dark series, Nïx, the Ever-Knowing, or better known throughout the Lore as Nucking-Futs Nïx, has been setting up her own form of speed-dating in an attempt to match mates and seed alliances for the upcoming Accession, and when you are a 3,000-year-old soothsaying Valkyrie, you don’t have to make it easy for anyone. I mean, what’s the fun in that?
Here are a few things we’ve learned about our favorite Valkyrie while over the last few years.
1. Nïx is always ready for a party…
A group of elven-looking women strolled by, wearing nothing but gauzy skirts. Their chests were bare except for body paint styled in intricate leafy designs.
“Goody,” Nïx muttered. “The dendrophiles.”
“The dendro what?” Néomi said.
“Tree lovers – the tree nymphs.”
Their obvious leader said, “Well, if it isn’t Nucking Futs Nïx and the hex hack.”
“Well, if it isn’t the hookers,” Nïx replied blandly. “Oh, I’m sorry, nymphets, this isn’t the orgy – that’s down the road.”
“Nïxie, every party is an orgy waiting to happen.”
Nïx opened her mouth, then closed it, dragging Néomi and Mari away. “Well, you can’t argue with reason, can you?”
— Dark Needs at Night’s Edge
2. ...Or a good fight.
Jo whirled around, stunned. A huge cage of lightening had descended, trapping her with the Valkyrie.
“Stay down, child,” Nïx said. “This isn’t my first cage fight. Won’t be my last.”
“Fuck that!” Jo traced through the air to tackle Nïx. The Valkyrie dodged her again.
“No one’s taught you to fight like an immortal.” Her tone was sing-song, even more enraging.
Jo hurtled forward, ducking under Nïx’s swing—
Just a feint. The Valkyrie’s knee shot up to catch Jo in the face. Her cheekbone cracked; she flew across the cement again.
Nïx chuckled. “It’s all about prediction.”
— Sweet Ruin
3. Nïx hates to be rude…
“Everything you’ll need will be aboard the Contessa.” A blare of static-like noise crackled. “Oh, and beware the barao de borracha and the guardiao.”
Lucia knew some Portuguese. “Beware the rubber baron and the guardian?”
More static sounds. “Can’t hear…call back…good luck…”
“Nïx, I know you’re faking the static.” She could picture her sister blowing into her fist directly at the receiver. The static abruptly stopped. “Why?”
“It seemed less rude than the alternative.”
“What’s that?”
Click.
— Pleasure of a Dark Prince
4. …Unless it’s fun.
“Have Loreans ever been abducted like this?”
“Yes,” the soothsayer answered, adding in a whisper, “by the Order.”
“Care to extrapolate?”
“No.”
“Tell me who they are!” No answer. “Is it the military?”
Nïx narrowed her eyes at Mari. “Define military.”
“You know, soldiers, army, et cetera.”
Nïx squinted again. “Define army.”
“At least tell me if they’re human!”
“Define—“
“Shut up, Nïx!”
— Demon from the Dark
5. Nïx hates rumors…
“You were on the Order’s prison island, weren’t you?”
“Was I?” Nïx asked with a coy smile.
“You talked to me when I was unconscious!” Lathe flashed a look of realization. “You hit me in the face with a log!”
“You dare accuse me of such a thing?!” Nïx snapped, her Valkyrie emotions producing lightning above. “Outrageous! I would never!” Then she abruptly frowned. “I might have hit you in the face with a log.”
— Dark Skye
6. …Unless she starts them.
Nïx frowned. “I liked it the way it was before.”
“Before? Naturally, you’ve been here?”
She shrugged. “So you don’t want to know what your Bride is up to?”
Can’t lie. “I haven’t come for her, have I?”
She strolled to the sitting room window, peering out. “Understandable. They say even you are frightened of her. And by they, I mean me. But the rumor’s catching on. You’ll thank me for that later,” she promised, sauntering to his desk and rooting through papers. “It must have taken you days to regenerate a heart. All that pain…If only I could find a male so romantic.”
— Lothaire
7. Nïx always has an open mind.
“Nïx won’t do anything. I promise you.”
“Won’t I?” Nix asked, her expression deadpan. Then she smiled, flashing small but noticeable fangs. “I’m in no mood to kill the demon king’s love today!”
“Kill me, Valkyrie?” Sabine scoffed. “I can make you see things that will turn your brain to soup.”
“A-gain,” Nïx sighed, unfazed by the threat.
Sabine probed the Valkyrie’s mind, finding easy access. With a stifled gasp, Sabine just as rapidly withdrew her probe. Chaos, utter chaos.
“Welcome to my world!” Nïx said with an exaggerated wink.
— Kiss of the Demon King
8. Even a 3000 year old Valkyrie can find joy in the little things, like finding treasures…
“And you must be the soothsayer—“
“I prefer predeterminationally abled, thank you.” Her hand shot out, ripping a button from his shirt, so fast it was a blur. She’d taken the one closest to his heart, and for a moment her face turned very cold.
She’d made a point – she could have gone for his heart.
Then she opened her hand and gasped in surprise. “A button!” She smiled delightedly. “You can never have enough of these!”
— A Hunger Like No Other
9. …making up poetry…
When Lachlain nodded, Emma said, “I can get you a satellite phone, too, so Mari can call at the earliest opportunity.”
“Aye, and I’ll need more of that stuff they’ve been trying to feed me. The drinks and gel packs. And some kind of med kit just in case.”
Nïx clapped with excitement at the activity, looking as addled as ever. “I can help, I can help! I can get you a rhyme for Mariketa!”
Lachlain, Emma, and Bowe briefly paused to glare at her.
“You can’t leave home without it!”
— Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night
10. …And spending time with animals.
“Don’t fret, love,” Nïx said reassuringly.
“How can I not fret…” Regin trailed off. “You’re talking to the freaking bat!”
She tickled its belly with a claw. “Coochy-coo.” Regin swore the bat smacked its lips with contentment, snuggling into her arm.
Had Nïx been feeding that little winged rat her blood? “Don’t you know that those things spread Cujos? Damn, Nïxie, you’re getting worse. Even more cray-cray than usual.”
She briefly glanced up. “That’s fair.”
— Dreams of a Dark Warrior
What scenes would you add to this list?
Originally posted 12/1/2015 at Heroes&Heartbreakers.com.
OMG! I loved all these scenes! Nix is one of the best characters in literary fiction I’ve ever read. She’s as funny as she is batsh*t crazy! I love all her scenes with Bertil. I love all her scenes mooning over Mike Rowe. A couple favorite scenes are When Nix rolls up to Holly in Dark Desires After Dusk and packs her luggage with sexy lingerie to tame herself a demon! And the scene in the beginning of MacRieve with her and Will while she’s driving backwards on the roads, mispronouncing his name! She is such a hoot! And her scenes in Munro are hilarious! We need more Nix!